Beautiful Rituals-How To Make Your Meditation Practice Irresistible

I was talking to another teacher and they were telling me that a student came to them telling them how miserable they were meditating. Thinking it was something big, something urgent, the teacher dropped everything to find out more.

The student was cold, their legs kept going numb, and they really weren’t able to sit cross legged. Wait…what? You see, we meditation teachers often forget what issues we had as beginners.

You don’t need to sit cross legged. You don’t need to sit on the floor at all! As a result of this kind of misunderstanding, I devote an entire lesson in my Foundation of Meditation course to asking you to become your own detective to solve the mystery of what makes you comfortable when you’re meditating.

I should know better, right?! I was a beginner who thought I should tough it out too. One time I was at one of those long silent retreats, and during the period where you have a few minutes to talk to the teacher, I expressed my frustration.

I was cold, and sometimes cold can trigger a painful neurological condition I have. So I said I was worried about how cold I was. We each had these meditation spots that were marked by those rectangular carpet samples. I’m a floor person, I prefer sitting cross legged over chairs, so the floor part was completely fine with me.

Our carpet square was sitting on a thin carpet that was on a cold cement floor. Later, after lunch I went back to my rectangle, and I didn’t notice at first, but looking down, I now had a stack of carpet samples. I had a lot more insulation between me and the cold floor.

Then as evening fell, I went back to my room and found an impressive stack of blankets. Even in this minimalist setting, they didn’t think I needed to be suffering to meditate. Neither do you. Can we make a new rule together? Let’s make our meditations a no-suffering zone.

We’ve all seen pictures of meditation rooms, and people sitting cross-legged on rocks in the ocean in the classic Gyan Mudra. This is the position with the hands on the knees, palms up, pointer finger and thumb forming a circle. Yeah, you know the one. 

What no one tells you is that model has lost all feeling in their bum, the rock is pointy, and the salt water keeps splashing them in unpleasant ways. It sure makes for a great marketing photo though. We want to feel how that picture looks. We want the space that’s so magical and inviting that we can’t wait to meditate. 

First tip; don’t go buy the expensive meditation cushions when you don’t even like sitting on the floor.

Marketers don’t want you to know the fancy meditation accessories don’t make you feel like meditating. But there are things you can do to make your practice feel more magical to you. The thing that’s not so obvious about this is that it’s a completely individual thing. You need to be willing to experiment and be honest about what feels luxurious to you.

If you’re coming from a place where you’ve been told that being a minimalist is the cool thing to do, or that austerity is the only true path, I’m going to ask you to reconsider that thinking. Especially if it’s not helping you make the time to sit down and meditate. 

I was corresponding with an acquaintance, and she told me she’ll meditate for a couple of weeks, or a month before it feels like something she “should” do. Once something falls into the “should” bucket, it doesn’t feel good.

So what can you do to create an experience that feels really good? I love listening to brainwave entrainment audio. I’m also a sucker for expensive Japanese incense. I create an experience that feels nourishing to my heart and my soul, which is also something that’s also fantastic for my brain and my stress levels.

Try a different technique, use a new timer. There are a bunch of variables you can adjust to see what’s the perfect fit for you. You’re also allowed to change your mind, and change your practice.

If you fall into the trap of thinking self care is selfish, that’s a mindset issue that you need to focus on weeding out. It’s the old put-your-own-mask-on-first thing, you can’t be fully there for others if you’re not taking care of yourself. To be truly generous, you have to do your self-care.

Make self-care a non-negotiable in your worldview. Then make your meditation practice something that feels like dessert. Do you need to test different places to sit? Do you need a cozier blanket? Do you want music, or guided meditation? What works for you? Make it happen.

Do it for the people who love you. They’ll thank you for it.

*typos and errors provided for your entertainment.