I ruminate. That’s my natural default setting. I think about things; I research things to death, and then I think about them some more. 

This is a common pattern amongst perfectionists. People often misunderstand the word perfectionist. People think it means having high standards, or great attention to detail. No, it’s not a good thing. Being a perfectionist means you’re so afraid of making mistakes that you’re caught in a loop of thinking without doing. 

It’s a form of paralysis. It keeps you for making progress and putting your work out into the world. 

Hello. My name is Lauren, and I’m a recovering perfectionist. Today I’m in full on ruminating mode. On my list for today I have: write a blog post (working on that now), record a podcast meditation, outline a new meditation course, talk to a friend. 

I’m so stuck in my overthinking mode that I can’t even consider these things. I resorted to writing my blog post on how stuck I am as a way to write something. Anything! 

In Chinese medicine this is a recognized disorder, and oh sister, do I feel that. This over-thinking pattern depletes your energy, it can leave you craving sweet things, it can mess with your digestion. You get my drift. Especially if you do this too.

For me this doesn’t usually show up feeling like anxiety, though sometimes it does. Usually it shows up as a fog, where I feel like I can’t think of ideas, or solutions.

The part of our mind that we usually think of as “the mind” is the Shen. The Shen lives in the heart, not in our heads, like we often think in the West. If you’ve ever felt anxious, you’ve probably noticed your heart rate feels off, making you feel more anxious. 

In a balanced state, our thoughts go from our Shen (which is part of the Fire element), to our Earth element, which is tasked with transforming the thought. Maybe into action, maybe into an idea, maybe into something we let go of. When we’re ruminating, that process stalls and it doesn’t transform. We often feel very ungrounded, which is interesting since it’s the Earth element that’s not balanced.

It turns out that meditation is the ultimate balancing adaptogen. Meaning no matter what the imbalance, it will help bring it back into balance. Any practice that helps you feel grounded is an excellent tool to have. I have a ceremonial rattle that I made for this very purpose. The deep rhythmic sound helps bring me down out of my fog. 

Finding what helps you feel more balanced is a superpower that I highly recommend cultivating. Having these tools to turn to is magical. What are your default settings? What helps balance you?

Today I’m prescribing a little time with my rattle, and then a nice long meditation. I feel more grounded already.

*typos and grammar errors provided for your entertainment.